How I Met Your Mother
by dragneel-san
Summary: The couples in Fairy Tail are married.. with kids? All was well until a few words: How did you and Dad meet? How I Met Your Mother parody, Fairy Tail style! Couples are: NaLu, Gruvia, GaLevy, and Jerza (my big four :D)


**Hello~**

**I just decided to do a one-shot this time, hope you like it!**

**How I Met Your Mother**

**Enjoy~**

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The wind blowing through the trees, the Sakura petals falling all around them, Lucy sighed contently as she raised her cup to her lips and sipped her tea. Nothing could beat sitting under the warm sun and enjoying a good talk with friends while having a good cup of tea. Lucy smiled as she saw Jellal and Erza sitting together with her bloated, pregnant belly, Levy nuzzling into Gajeel's shoulder as she sat atop his lap, and Juvia and Gray laughing at something that one of them had said. Nothing could beat this, yes, except…

"Mama!"

Lucy sighed yet again as she set down her cup and turned around. "Yes, dear?"

A girl of ten years who bore a quite a similar resemblance to her and yet had Natsu's bright pink hair ran crying into her arms, shouting, "Onii-san hurt me again!"

Frowning, Lucy turned around to her oldest child. "Igneel! I told you to be gentle to your little sister!"

The blonde boy huffed while crossing his arms across his chest and looked away. "Well, it's not my fault that she's not as resistant to fire as I am."

Lucy gently hit his head and turned her attention back to the girl still weeping in her arms. "Sakura hasn't had a lot of practice like you did!" She frowned when he turned his back to her again and said to her partner, "Natsu, say something!"

The man looked over at his thirteen year-old son and shook his head while letting out a little "tsk." Sitting up from his original position of lying down, he faced the young teen. "No, that's not how you treat your little sister." He paused for a moment, then grinned brightly. "No matter what kind of opponent you have, you shout, 'I'm all fired up!' and then beat them to a pulp!" He finished with a fiery fist-pump into the air while having fire spewing out of his loud mouth.

"No!" In a flash, both boys were down on the ground, having been knocked down by their mother and wife.

Lucy growled with her fist clenched and pointed in Simon's direction. "Igneel! Why don't you look over at how Simon treats others? Learn from your friends, will you?"

Igneel pouted and pointed at the dark blue-haired boy. "Ha! Yeah right! His little sister isn't even born yet!" He turned towards his friend and yelled, "Simon, trust me! Little sisters are a pain!"

Erza and only laughed at the two while rubbing her swollen stomach. "We know how siblings can be. But you won't treat her horribly, will you, Simon?"

Her son shook his head and pointed proudly at himself. "No, I won't! Besides, Silver, Gina, Igneel, and Sakura are all like my little siblings and I treat them fine, don't I?"

Levy nodded as her own daughter came to sit down after seeing that most of her friends had stopped running around and had sat down. "Yeah, you really do, Simon. Your little sister is going to be lucky to have you as an older brother."

Silver sat next to his parents, bored that the fun had ceased. A sudden silence filled the air and everyone on the picnic blanket fidgeted uncomfortably from the awkwardness. Lucy sipped her tea again, the small sound cutting through the quiet air.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Hm?"

"How did you and Dad meet?"

Lucy sputtered as she almost choked on her tea. Thanking Natsu for patting her back as she was coughing, she faced back towards the blonde boy. "Wh-what?"

He looked up at her innocently again. "How did you and Dad meet?"

She opened her mouth, about to answer his question when Natsu cleared his throat. "Well, you see, son," he began, a smile playing upon his lips. "I met your mother for the first time in the town of Hargeon."

Lucy nodded, surprised that he actually remembered the town.

"And I was looking around the town for a special person…"

Yeah…

"And there was this…"

Yeah…?

"Huge serpent monster that was destroying the town and your mother was being held captive by it! And when I saw the poor damsel in distress, I got my Dragon Slaying Magic into action and-"

"No!"

Natsu Dragneel lay twitching on the ground clutching his head for the second time that day after Lucy let loose another strike.

Letting out a deep breath, she began telling the story. "Well, you see, there was this man named Bora who was impersonating your dad and kidnapping women. I was caught in his little love spell and it was your dad that broke the magic. And later, he rescued me from Bora's ship and brought me to Fairy Tail."

Igneel thought for a moment and asked another question. "Was it by complete chance that it was Dad who ran into you that day?"

Lucy nodded. "Yes, why?"

"Aw, man." He frowned and released a little fire in his hand. "If it had been Gray, then I could've been an Ice Make Mage. Ice is so much cooler."

A vein popped in Natsu's head as he grabbed the boy in a headlock and proceeded to give him a noogie.

"Well then," Silver faced his parents. "How did _you_ guys meet?"

Juvia turned a bright red at the question while her husband gave it no extra attention. "Um-"

"Juvia will explain this one!" The Water Mage cried excitedly and waved her arm in the air. "Juvia had joined Fairy Tail when Gray-sama saw Juvia for the first time and fell immediately in love. Then Gray-sama got down on one knee and-"

"Wrong, wrong, totally wrong!" Gray cried, crossing his arms in front of him in an "x." Clearing his throat, he began to tell the story. "No, it was just back before your mother had joined Fairy Tail and Phantom Lord had started a war with our guild. Your mother and I were on opposite sides of the fight and we met for the first time during our battle." He grinned, striking a pose. "I won, of course."

"Dad, put some pants on."

"Oh, oh right. Ahem. Sorry about that."

With all his articles of clothing back on, Gray continued. "Anyway, it was because of me that your mother see a clear blue sky for the first time." He finished with a confident nod. "So? What do you think, son?"

Silver blinked, leaning on his arm while resting his elbow on his knee. "Sounds so cheesy. Did this really happen, or was this taken straight out of a movie?"

Gray visibly cringed as his shoulder muscles began to tense. "Why you little…!"

His son only laughed at his father's irritation and fell backwards onto the grass. "Ha, just kidding. Anyway, having both ice and water magic in me is useful. Thanks."

"Tch. Useful! My fire could melt all that down in one shot!"

"Shut up! You know you couldn't!"

"Tsk, tsk. You should be more respectful towards your seniors."

"Senior, what senior? You're the same age as me!"

"No! Older by five months!"

"That doesn't count!"

"Yeah it does!"

Lucy's shoulders slumped as comical tears ran down her face. "Igneel, give it a rest, will you?"

"No, you keep fighting, son!" Natsu shouted and grinned, flames flickering on his hands. "You keep fighting for what you believe in and-!"

"Enough!"

Natsu was down for the count again.

Gina looked up at her sky blue-haired mother. "Then how did you guys first meet?"

"Through bondage." Natsu snickered with a low voice. "The only relationship that I know that started that way."

Levy let out a surprised squeak while Gajeel growled and whipped around to face the other Dragon Slayer. "What the fuck, Salamander!?" He yelled, a slight blush coating his face. "Don't say that in front of my girl!"

Natsu shrugged, a sly smile peeling his lips apart. "So what? She's twelve. She won't know what it is. Right?"

Gajeel clenched his fist and waved it at the Fire Mage. "You never know! You know how kids are these days! They know everything!"

"Ha! Yeah right! She won't know because she inherited half your brain!"

"Same goes for your kids!"

"Are you calling me stupid!?"

"You would only not know that if you _were_ stupid!"

"You wanna go?"

"Come at me, Salamander!"

"I'll beat the living shit out of you, Scraps-for-brains!"

They both stood up simultaneously, their foreheads touching as they glared at each other. Lucy could feel the tension in the air get thicker and thicker until it was to the point that it could be tangible to the touch.

"Come on, let's not fight." Levy stood up and tugged on the Iron Dragon Slayer's arm. When he didn't budge, she pulled with even more force. "Come on, Gajeel! Not here, when we're having a picnic!"

Sighing, Lucy stood up as well and put a hand on Natsu's shoulder. "You too, back off." Feeling slightly frustrated at getting no response, she turned away and sat back down. "Natsu Dragneel, if you don't come back here right now, I'm not going to be making dinner tonight!"

Nothing happened, then a slight twitch in his arm, and then his legs began to shake and before anyone knew it, he was right back where he had been before he and Gajeel had faced each other off.

"F-fine!" He cried and crossed his legs and arms, hunching his back over in anger. "I could have made my own, b-but the kids say that it's really bad…" He muttered the last part to himself.

"So how did you guys really meet then?" Gina asked her mother again, oblivious to what had nearly caused a fight between the two dragons.

Levy grinned as she thought for a moment, then smiled nervously, recalling the horrifying, yet ironic set of events that had led to her relationship with Gajeel. "Ah, well, um… You see, ah, your dad was in another guild when we first met." She muttered to herself, "And it wasn't a very friendly meeting."

"What?"

Levy laughed forcefully and waved her hands. "Nothing, nothing." She continued. "Anyway, back then, Fairy Tail was in a state of war with Phantom Lord, the guild that your dad was in. He, um, destroyed the old guild building, and as another way to piss the old Master off, he attacked me and my team and hung us up on a tree for all to see."

Gina's flitted back and forth from her mother to her father, eyeing them both suspiciously. "Dad… did that…?"

Seeing the fear in the girl's eyes, Levy waved her hands around again, rushing to explain the rest. "But he did protect me from Laxus before he turned good and helped me out in the S-Class exams, so it's all fine! It's ok, Gina!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Gray chimed in. "Other than being a pain in the ass, Gajeel is a perfectly fine person!"

The pink-haired male guffawed as he heard Gray's statement. "That is so true!"

Growling again, Gajeel only grabbed his cup, poured the contents out, and stuffed the metal in his mouth, chewing with a loud clanking sound.

"Then Dad, how did you meet Mom?" It was now Simon's turn to ask his parents.

Jellal cleared his throat, prepared to answer when Erza cut him short. "We were in a slave prison, your father gave me my last name, he got possessed, I escaped alone." She finished in a matter-of-factly way.

Her son didn't say anything for a moment, then turned towards his father. "You were possessed?"

The blue-haired man nodded as he forced a smile. "Um… Yeah…?"

The fourteen year-old boy sighed as if he was annoyed and turned away. "Lame. How could you let something just possess you?"

Jellal put on a helpless face as he drew his knees up to his chest and tucked his face down in them. He looked up at his son with exaggerated tears running down his tattooed face. "How cruel… Don't be so mean to your own father!"

Simon only laughed and popped a rice cake into his mouth. "So you guys were in a prison? That's all? And how did only Mom escape?"

A deadly silence ensued the question and it seemed like an eternity had passed before Erza answered Simon. "Ah… I came back… for him…?"

"Lie!" Natsu screeched and pointed a finger at her. "You know that's a lie, Erza! He kidnapped you and I had to beat the shit out of him and rescue your sorry ass!" The father of two crossed his arms confidently and smiled, satisfied. His moment of satisfaction was shortly lived when he noticed the sudden silence around the group that was filled with pure fear and dread. Peeking his eyes open, he felt the ominous presence of a strong killing intent as a shadow loomed over him.

"What did you say?"

An angry Erza held him at the tip of her sword, still looking as scary as ever despite the fact that she was currently a heavily pregnant woman. An evil aura drifted off of her, her eyes shaded by her bangs and giving her an even more terrifying look.

"Prepare yourself, Natsu!"

In a flash, everyone was up, either standing by and watching or helping Jellal and Simon restrain the Armor Mage.

"C'mon, Erza, not now!" Lucy cried as she pulled on her arm. "You're eight months pregnant, remember that!"

"Yeah, Erza-san, just wait until she's born, ok? Then you can beat Natsu up later!" Levy suggested while keeping a firm hold.

"Bastard! You really did it now, didn't you?" Gray shouted and held a fist to his rival's face. "Why can't you just stay quiet and shut your mouth for once, huh?"

The Celestial Mage only sweatdropped at her husband's answer. "Shut the fuck up! You're yelling too!"

"You yelled first, bastard!"

"Gajeel! Don't butt in on this!"

"Shut up, Hot Head! Don't tell me what to do!"

"What did you call me!?"

"What, are you deaf!?"

"You guys are both idiots!"

"What the fuck did you say, Exhibitionist!?"

"I'll beat you too, Snowflake!"

"Ice Bringer!"

"Lightning Flame Dragon Mode!"

"Iron Shadow Dragon Mode!"

"You assholes, don't forget me!"

"Ah! Erza, no!"

As the fight began, the spectators that were left behind collapsed in the grass, grieving the death of having another chance at a normal excursion.

Sighing, Igneel sat down and watched the progressing fight. "You know what, never mind about the probability of having another parent; they're all idiots anyway."

Silver sat next to his best friend and nodded in agreement. "Yeah."

Gina looked on with a concerned expression. "Why do our dads always fight?"

Simon gave a helpless shrug. "At least it's your dads… My mom's pregnant and she's still fighting!"

The group of friends grew quiet for a moment, then burst into laughter, rolling around in the grass while clutching their stomachs through their fits. Lucy watched the children with nostalgia in her eyes; they reminded her of her early days in Fairy Tail with the guild members.

Smiling to herself, she watched her hot headed partner fend off one of Gajeel's attacks. A fight once in a while wasn't too bad, and her former team members needed the once-in-a-while blast from the past to help keep them from aging too quickly.

Drawing her knees up to her chest, the battle continued on in front of her; the sheer power of the four fighting was enough to send trembles through the earth and to her body. Not that she wasn't used to it. Every single day in the guild used to be like this.

"Mama?"

"What is it, Sakura?"

Her daughter's brows creased in concentration as thought about something for a moment, then looked up at her. "What's bondage?"

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**As always, thanks for reading**

**I'm working on new chapters for SPN and Countdown, so please wait!**

**Don't forget to leave reviews!**


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